What
The Fuck Is Up With 'Magic Happens™' Bumper Stickers?
Are you familiar with the secret underworld of everyday society,
that secretly believes - probably because their uncle showed them
a detachable thumb trick when they were 10 - that magic just happens?
If you are, I bet you have one of these stickers, don't you?
Above:
The offensive sticker, visible on vehicles around the world.
 What
compels someone to purchase one of these tacky purple stickers for
$1.95 at the local bulk discount store and paste it shamelessly
on the back of their vehicle, clearly advocating to the world their
inability to distinguish tomfoolery from the unexplainable? Perhaps
we will never know. Maybe we should ask the magicians to the upper
right.
It could be that you have never seen one of these stickers before,
like our friend here to the left. If this is the case, you have
been spared... until now. I know up until about 3 years ago, I had
never seen a Magic Happens™ bumper sticker in my life.
But once you see them... they are always there. It's like not thinking
about blinking. You can't help it. And all of a sudden, you can't
blink normally again. It's like learning a new word like
 lalapalooza
\lah-luh-puh-LOO-zuh\ (noun)
: Something superior or unusual : an outstanding example
The rest of your day is going to be something like
this:
You make a coffee and sit back, pick up the local
paper (they never use big words!) and browse to page 4. (Look left
now)
Oh, and you like rockclimbing and stuff, so you go
for a drive to visit some rocks, to climb, and stuff. (Look down
now)
And you didn't even notice, but on the way there,
you passed a rather large roadsign, which upon further scrutiny,
contained the following...
Now look. I know some of you "magic" believers
are going to be freakin' out right now, clawing at the screen, chewing
on your stumpy fingers yelling "AAAHH! How did he do that???"
but I assure you, I didn't use *any* magic at all. Just Photoshop.
Wait. No. These photos are real.
Anyway, this article isn't going anywhere, so here's
a bumper sticker for all the people like me who dislike people with
Magic Happens stickers:
Above:
A new, improved sticker, available for purchase now at the 4BG online
store.
Don't like it? Offended? Still believe in MAGIC???
How about............ THIS???
Above:
An indifferent bumper sticker.
Well if that doesn't grab you, I know THIS WILL:
Above:
A bumper sticker everyone can enjoy... except for that guy in the
photo.
As for the big question: "How can I obtain comic
hilarity in its pure atomic form like Michael has?" Well, some
things *are* just magic.
... and some things, such as Michael's humour, are
just pure poo.
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