20.
Bush to refer to Hussein as 'Hotpants', Hussein to refer to Bush
as 'Snuggles'.
19. Each Iraqi soldier
forced to do their best Saddam impersonation before surrendering.
18. 'Shock and awe' tactics
to be renamed 'Flabbergast and razzle-dazzle'.
17. US and British soldiers
only allowed to melee attack.
16. US grenades' fuse
times set to random lengths from half a second to ten seconds.
15. Reward on Saddam's
death: Winner receives large hamper, including vast quantities
of ham.
14. Last troop to kill
a man has to eat the soggy biscuit!
13. US not allowed to
take out Iraq's Construction Yard within first 5 minutes of war,
must let them build a Barracks and Refinery first. And no tank
rushes!!!
12. Allied soldiers not
allowed to be c4MP1NG F4G0tS, OMG1!!!
11. B2 bombers to be piloted
by one blind man and one deaf man.
10. Women allowed to serve
for Iraq and US; forced to defend large pool of mud near Baghdad
in bikinis with bare hands.
9. Infantry divisions
to be judged on style, form and synchronicity.
8. Soldiers from all armies
must pair up with another soldier and proceed in three-legged
race style.
7. Each infantry division
accompanied by narrators, whose field duty it is to yell loudly
through a megaphone "Head shot!", "Monster kill!",
and "3 kills left!"
6. Dig trenches around
Baghdad, fill them with oil and set them alight, because that
will screw up pathetic $12 billion dollar US Department of Defence
GPS technology, right?
5. All pistols to be replaced
with knives; all assault rifles to be replaced with swords; all
rocket launchers to be replaced with catapults.
4. Bikini babe wanders
through Baghdad at 2am every morning holding up a sign: "ROUND
2", "ROUND 3" etc.
3. Bush and Hussein to
be placed on remote African island and forced to live together
as part of new reality TV show, "You're Fucked Saddam".
2. Quad damage pickups
distributed through Baghdad.
1. Tickle fights.
20
Ways To Make The War More Interesting
