It took 30 seconds after arriving to the USA to piss me off

[Tim]

After spending a lovely week in Japan, where food is cheap, tipping non-existent, customer service is top notch, and people are the politest in the world, I knew it wouldn't take long to feel irritated by the US.

Little did I know it would begin as soon as the plane landed.

Some fellow sitting just behind me, literally the second the plane hit the tarmac, pulls out his mobile, and calls his friend.

[irritating So-Cal accent] "Hey Brad? Brad? Yeah it's Chad. I just got in. Yeah, the plane just landed. Yeah, Japan was greaaaat. It was so cool - like, we went to these amazing places that nobody knew about. Well we first went to tourist places, which sucked, but you know, after that, we did the most amazing things. Like I hired a motorbike and did burnouts at a Shinto temple, and then I, oh what? You've got to go? Alright, see ya man." <brief pause> "Hey Sarah? Yeah it's Chad. I just landed."

Repeat right up to customs where thankfully they were blocking phone signals. Grargh.

So it's now been a few days and I find myself witness to a world of annoyances. It's also kind of scary actually. Particularly after Japan where there is no graffiti, no litter, no shouting or rudeness, just a clean, orderly society with very little crime. I love that. Meanwhile I get to the US and I feel my mere presence may set someone off to the point of homicide. Never mind the sheer irritation of having someone who just got off the Jerry Springer stage sitting behind you in every type of public transport you get on.

I am sure my list of grievances will continue to be well documented here.

[Timbo]

Lets hope so mate!!!

Japan is awesome, I just hope the americans can keep it that way by staying the fuck away.

[Tanya]

I SOOOOO could relate. Like, tod'ly.

Here in Jerusalem, there are tons of American tourists all year round. They are everywhere, being "american" (in their very loud way) - "I was like, and then she was like, and then i was like... Like, 'Toudly', Awesome..."

One day, I am standing in line in this Burgers place, getting my food. This american woman, in her mid 40ies, i'd say, stands behind me. She calls her son and goes "Robbie, look at these fries, don't they look good?" - and points her finger INTO (=inside) my bowl of fries.
So I - being polite - just give her a somewhat shocked stare, and slitely pull the bowl towards me. Woudn't you get it?

But not her! She pulls my hand to get my attention, smiles at me and goes "You don't mind if I take one or two, just to see if it's any good, right?"... RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Yes. i mind.

[Argod]

OOH ooh ooh lets make this into an "Americans are shit tourists" thread

So I'm standing on top of the ruins of Caligula's palace in the Forum in Rome. From there I can see Circus Maximus behind me and almost all of the Forum in front of me. So much history, almost the entire "known" world was once ruled from here. My attention is caught by the sound of a loud middle aged American gentleman

"Hey Mavis (not her real name) come here come here, quick" he shouts

Mavis waddles over.

"Look, look down there" he continues

So mine and numerous others up there are now extremely curious as to what he's pointing at "down there"

So a small crowd including myself has now gathered along side him and Mavis. They are looking down a sort of large skylight into a courtyard below. An inner courtyard of sorts, inside the old palace.

I wonder what it is, perhaps a sculpture of Mars, or a golden chariot Caligula once road along the Via Apia.

Oh no nothing as mundane as that...

"Look Mavis, a lizard, they have Lizards here too"

Oh for fucks sake

[buffalo]

haha! Nothing compared to the American high schoolers a friend of mine encounted in Rome. What were they most looking forward to? The forum? Nope. The Colosseum? Nope. The Vatican maybe? Nuh uh.

McDonald's. Fuppin' McDonald's.

[Michael]

Yesterday on the tube, some overweight American guy in his 50s is trying to figure out how to get somewhere. First off, you'd have to be pretty daft to not be able to find your way around the tube if you know where you're going and there's a map handy (which there are on every wall). It's a pretty organised system - it has to be. Anyway instead of just asking one or two people nearby for assistance, he decides to announce to the 10 or 20 people around him that he's lost at the top of his voice.

"Excuse me, I can't find where I'm supposed to be going, who here knows the terrain well?"

[nadnerb]

Yesterday on the tube, some overweight American guy in his 50s is trying to figure out how to get somewhere. First off, you'd have to be pretty daft to not be able to find your way around the tube if you know where you're going and there's a map handy (which there are on every wall). It's a pretty organised system - it has to be. Anyway instead of just asking one or two people nearby for assistance, he decides to announce to the 10 or 20 people around him that he's lost at the top of his voice.

"Excuse me, I can't find where I'm supposed to be going, who here knows the terrain well?"

I remember being on the tube when this old Amerian couple got on.
Sooo American, dressed in their 'sports casual' getup and the dude was rocking a typical sailing hat.
Anyway they sat next to some Londoner who was reading his paper minding his own business until the Americans started asking him loads of questions as if he was a tour guide.
They then hijacked his newspaper to look up "shows" and see what was going on in London tonight.

One thing surprised me, they wern't fat

Tim, theres plenty of graffiti in Japan.