New Ask4BG!
By Michael - 9:03 PM, Thursday, August 30, 2001 - 0 Comments
In the latest Ask 4 Bitter Guys question, we examine the strains on a relationship which result from running an e/n website, and discover that they are quite sinew-ey and taste a little bit like pork.
Comments up, tech problems down :-)
By Michael - 4:43 PM, Wednesday, August 29, 2001 - 0 Comments
Jesus christ - apologies to all for the past 24-48 hours of 4BG chaos - we had some horrible cgi errors which have since been TERMINATED (bang bang, I am now a cgi expert :)...) and oh yes, NEWS COMMENTS are here for all to contribute to! :-) What do YOU think?
Nerd Quiz!
By Michael - 12:47 PM, Sunday, August 26, 2001 - 0 Comments
Despite the inner-bitchings and shit-kicking going on here at 4BG, some of us still like to rise above it all and come up with some amusing content. ;-)
It's time for you to find out just how nerdy you *really* are on the Nerd Quiz.
Urgent!!! Reward offered!!!
By Tim - 10:38 AM, Saturday, August 25, 2001 - 0 Comments
Yes folks, we have somehow managed to lose 2 of the 4 bitter guys! Ches and I have no idea how it happened, but over the last week Miles and Michael just disappeared! They were last seen being led away by a pair of identical twins. More information can be found here
Linkage
By Tim - 11:05 PM, Friday, August 24, 2001 - 0 Comments
Babelfish rocks
By Tim - 1:28 PM, Thursday, August 23, 2001 - 0 Comments
This rocks. Seriously. Go here and babelize all your favourite phrases. For example, Four bitter guys becomes:
Standard with rock four of the contour
How does that work you might ask? Well first, English to French, to English, to German, to English, to Italian, to English, to Portuguese, to English, to Spanish, and back to English again. Excellent.
Four bitter guys Quatre amers types Four land-marks standard Standard mit vier Grenzsteinen Standard with four boundary stones Standard con quattro pietre di contorno Standard with four stones of contour Padrão com as quatro pedras do contorno Standard with the four rocks of the contour Estándar con la roca cuatro del contorno Standard with rock four of the contour
9 to 5, 5 days a week?
By Ches - 8:15 AM, Wednesday, August 22, 2001 - 0 Comments
Well, seeing as that whole 'university' thing didn't really work out, i'm now working full-time, and sweet jesus does it suck arse. Getting up at 7:30?!?!?! Farck. I'm doing tech support and a bit of Unix work at another university, so there's bugger all to do most of the day, and i swear, no work and excess caffeine is not a good way to spend your day, by about 11 o'clock i'm toeyer than a roman sandle. On the perks side, i just got a brand-spanking-new P3 1Ghz (with 512MB RAM, a 19" Sony Trinitron, a DVD-ROM and a 12x burner, no less) at said job, so it's not too difficult to whittle away those excess hours :)
Oh, yeah, i still haven't finished writing those reviews, although i have stopped playing GT3 quite so much. The Tickford Falcon XR8 Race Car is absolute bliss if anyone's interested, and worth every cent you'll pay for it. All i really want now are the 80s F1 cars and i'll be pretty happy. I really couldn't be arsed winning all the 10 race of 10 laps each Championships in Professional mode, and there's absolutely no way in hell i'll be doing any of those 'Endurance' (Boredom more like) races either. Blah. Want Tony Hawk 3...
PS: Find your own wacky links you lazy pricks.
PPS: Fine. Here's your stinking links, now get out of my face!
Don't you hate it when they do this? It's even worse when the do the whole, play the long one and then 30 seconds later play the short one thing. Jesus, is there no freaking justice in this world?
A solar system similar to ours has been found by planet hunters.
Morgue staff in Sydney did all sorts of naughty things to dead bodies. Yet it is classed only 'illegal' not 'unethical'. Right...
Hey! Here's an idea, let's open a zoo, and then be unable to feed the animals! Excellent! (After trying to turn the Zoo into a sex club too)
Being a doctor does have its perks, especially knowing how to perform certain procedures on yourself.
German tourists eh? I think we need more of them performing public services like this more often. (hint: contains nudity)
Well hopefully that's enough weird shit to keep you guys going for a bit. What about tech stuff?
nVidia have staged a Final Fantasy technology demo where a Quadro DCC (Geforce 3) card was outputting super-realistic characters (no backgrounds) at 10fps.
Radeon 2? Looks pretty damn good. Glad that nVidia have a bit of competition. (Anyone else remember when they were the underdogs and were cheered on? Fark.)
Lastly, I wish I had one of these to do my thesis on instead of my shitty m100 Palm.
Hey while I'm at it, I'll just pimp Ask 4 Bitter Guys. If anyone has any problem of any description, just mail it to us at 4bitterguys@4bitterguys.com and we'll answer it right away with plenty of generous advice.
Why SUVs suck.
By Tim - 11:27 PM, Wednesday, August 15, 2001 - 0 Comments
Yes folks, I've provided some incredible insight and stunning wit to bring you why SUVs suck. It's pretty obvious I know, but dammit they piss me off.
There's a comparison of the Pentium 4 and the G4e over at Arse Tech, if anyone's interested. Highly informative and quite heavy going, as usual for Ars Technica.
Alright, that's enough links, now you get to listen to me crap on for a bit. Miles and i went to the Incubus concert here in Melbourne a couple of nights ago, and to be honest, it was shit. I'm a big Incubus fan (i've got Make yourself, S.C.I.E.N.C.E, Fungus Amongus, Enjoy Incubus, some Incubus shirts and an Incubus zippo), but the concert was one of the worst i've seen in recent memory. They played for about an hour 15 (including a grudging 15 minute encore), they played nothing off Fungus Amongus or Enjoy, and bar an extended version of Vitamin, everything was identical to the album version. I guess maybe i wasn't really the target audience, i've heard of Fungus Amongus for instance, but jesus h goddamn christ, they couldn't play one old song? Shit-house.
If you're really lucky - and i can stop playing GT3 for ten minutes - i'll throw up some mini-reviews later in the week. I'm in the process of writing short reviews for Max Payne, Operation Flashpoint, and Gran Turismo 3 at the moment. So hang in there, we may have content yet. In the meantime, i recommend you go read Timbo's IR transceiver review, they're a sweet piece of hardware, particularly if you have an IR equipped Mobile phone. Of course there's also the car-crash-like attraction of Michael's Big Book of British Smiles...
Linkage
By Tim - 9:34 AM, Tuesday, August 14, 2001 - 0 Comments
A turtle which was being tracked by scientist and hundreds of school kids ended up as dinner for a bunch of Mexicans.
An old granny has wound up in jail for making bomb threats on a flight.
See if you can make any sense of this because I sure as hell can't. 60-something Cubans, pretending to want to join the mile high club, hijack a plane and die? WTF?
I read today in the local paper, the Courier Mail, an article about computers and it started with the line: "A reader of He's Apples was spooked recently after placing an order for a new Power Mac G4 733MHz (which, incidently, is about as fast as a 1.7GHz Pentium 4)" My fucking god it's incredible the complete dumbfucks they hire to write this drivel. Jesus H Christ. Newspapers + computers should NOT mix. And finally, a quote from good ol' Dubya.
"Anybody see a flaw in my swing? Or is there a swing in my flaw?"
PRESIDENT BUSH while golfing Monday in Meridian, Texas.
"Ah, funny one, sir."
White House aide GORDON JOHNDROE in response to Bush's joke.
New Ask4BG question up
By Tim - 8:28 PM, Monday, August 13, 2001 - 0 Comments
Today we tackle the topics of enourmous bosoms, pasty-faced nerds and mail-order brides. All right here.
Linkage
By Tim - 10:08 AM, Sunday, August 12, 2001 - 0 Comments
Yep, it's that time again (hooray).
Good to know the emergency services people do what they can to get by. A Minneapolis Fire Fighter stole a mobile phone from a suicide victim.
Damn Lithuanians. The Danish are taking advantage of their poor english.
A man with a saliva fetish was made to wear a surgical mask in court. I wonder if he was this guy's father.
Bwahahhaa! Pauline Hanson has been locked out of her office on the Gold Coast. Serves her right.
The cyber park bench is having its fair share of problems. Quite amusing that one..
The US and British have decided to bomb Saddam Hussein in retaliation for trying to shoot down their aircraft.
And last but not least, it was a ripper of a game yesterday, with Australia breaking the 96 year record at Dunedin. The All Blacks just did not play well after the sun came out.
MA600 InfraRed Transceiver Review is up.
By Tim - 10:52 PM, Saturday, August 11, 2001 - 0 Comments
Yes in the rants/articles section there is now a review of the MA600 InfraRed transceiver. This is a great little device for communicating with IR devices from your PC.
How brave are YOU?
By Michael - 2:03 PM, Saturday, August 11, 2001 - 0 Comments
More Ask 4BG & Photo Caption Competitions!
By Michael - 5:57 PM, Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 0 Comments
That's right kids! In today's Ask 4BG we discover why Natalie Imbrugliugligiugligulia's website is maintained by her British Record Company, and what is wrong with Damo's car.
Also, 4 new Photo Caption Competitions are available in the forum! Get in there and throw in your 2 cents worth!
News from around the world...
By Miles - 4:04 PM, Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 0 Comments
Cigarette habit costing too much? Maybe you should try growing your own...
There's a new netscape out, it's version 6.1 and you can grab it here.
Apparently we might be getting Windows XP early. Sweet as. I've already got RC2 (legitimate beta tester, thank you) and it seems pretty feature complete... just slow as hell. Things will improve once it's actually released, what with new drivers being released then and whatnot. Shouldn't be a bad OS, the whole skin thing is sweet, and compatability is improved, so it's all good...
Rants are here!
By Michael - 1:12 PM, Wednesday, August 8, 2001 - 0 Comments
The first of a long, healthy collection of rants is here! How To Be Funny by Michael gives you a step by step guide to impressing your friends and colleagues!
Poll is active! (and minor linkage...)
By Michael - 11:13 AM, Wednesday, August 8, 2001 - 0 Comments
Yes, now you can have your say on the main page. Topics will drift between current events, narcissism, humour and popularity :-)
And on a side note, if you ever thought you had no life, take a look at this guy's page. He collects photos of incorrect road signs. Then, if that wasn't pathetic enough, have a squiz at www.yourgoingtohell.com. You know a site must be serious when it has grammatical errors in its domain name.
Linkage
By Tim - 6:35 PM, Tuesday, August 7, 2001 - 0 Comments
First up is an amusing story of a man spilling urine on himself after being pulled over by police, and other similar stories.
Next is a bit of 'home viewer' contribution. A sterling effort by Zero. In his words: Hi guys. Attached is a capture from a video I made a few weeks ago. We were testing a remotely detonated flash powder compound, which was put in the base of a 1L tub of apricot yoghurt and placed in a payphone. Note that the blast triggered the garden sensor lights of every house on that side of the street.
Photo caption contests
By Michael - 1:46 PM, Sunday, August 5, 2001 - 0 Comments
The plan is to have fairly regular photo caption contests in the forums. If you have a suggestive or promiscuous picture, send it in! Winners receive street cred. Werd.
And speaking of rectal fixations, ever wondered why the liquid crap in the fecal-tastic japanese porn in the forums is yellowy coloured? Wondered why some crap floats? All the answers are at The Scoop on Poop. If you find farts more amusing, the low-down is here.
And purely for educational purposes - here's a guide to mating with dolphins. Mate responsibly, people.
Ches sings the blues
By Tim - 8:16 AM, Sunday, August 5, 2001 - 0 Comments
Mariah Carey truly does suck, as her breakdown suggests. I think it's bloody hilarious, especially the shit she posted on her webpage. I'll chuck it up later...
Also, I found out Pierce Brosnan will be James Bond again... thank christ for that. Best James Bond since Sean, because Sean was the best EVAR!!!!11!! Hey, if anyone's interested, in Brisbane at the Metro Arts Centre on Edward St there's a James Bond theatre show on for $5. Snobbad at all.
Work sucks.
By Ches - 12:01 PM, Friday, August 3, 2001 - 0 Comments
Well, work is even deader than usual today, so any of you fool enough to be reading this tripe get to trudge through even more of my badly-written ramblings.
First off, the onion rocks. Here's vindication for all of you (like myself) that secretly suspected the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam was really utter shit. I'm not sure i like the way they bag on the Rime of The Ancient Mariner though, Coleridge da man. If you're feeling really intellectual, Solid Snake makes some interesting observations on life, the universe and everything here.
Secondly, i really can't heap enough rank, steaming praise upon the team from Old Man Murray. Classic stuff.
Finally, i recommend Black Stallion and Viking Bars as the ultimate slow friday lunch. I can barely sit still, but it makes reading the same shit on the web over and over again a hell of a lot more exciting.
Oh my sweet jesus.
By Ches - 10:51 AM, Friday, August 3, 2001 - 0 Comments
Here's a hint: Don't ever, and i really mean ever, go searching the web for disgusting photos to put on your new website. I just found pictures of a guy eating a goddamn baby* for fuck's sake. I'm not kidding. rotten.com Need i say more?
P.S.: Just to re-affirm my atheism after the jesus reference in the heading, here's another link. What can i say? I knew there must have been some reason people became priests.
P.P.S.: If i still haven't offended you, drop me a line and i'll see what i can do.
*I highly recommend you don't follow that link btw, that shit will scar you.
Crisis = Opportunity!!!
By Michael - 5:40 PM, Thursday, August 2, 2001 - 0 Comments
Always look on the bright side of life! Even if your testicles are bigger than your head!
I think what I love most about this animation is the expression on the guy's face as he merrily bounces up and down --- it's as if he's watching me from his helpless position in my Flash animation going "I know what you're doing --- revenge will be mine."
Who knows, perhaps one day he'll be after me with a machete... and a wheelbarrow to carry his colossal balls.
(Click the animation to begin)
Crazy content?
By Tim - 4:03 PM, Thursday, August 2, 2001 - 1 Comment
Did someone say elephantiasis of the testicles pictures?
What next? A guy on fire?
Personal sections
By Michael - 3:13 PM, Thursday, August 2, 2001 - 0 Comments
I guess we should all follow Chessa's lead here and make our own personal sections on the site. Just make a folder under the root directory (ie /web/yourname on the ftp) and chuck some stuff in there.
The folder is already linked from your image - you can thank me for that. ;) Bam.
And Ches, I -am- a unique snowflake. :)
The other thing I think we should do (after seeing some fantastic posts by Ches and Tim in the nature of "Lets post some shit" and "Sal is cool") is try to make each post as meaty as possible, and include as many links and photos as possible to make the site look kinda nice :) Time to do some scouring of the bowels of the web for some amusing content, eh boys? :)
Also I was thinking it would be pretty cool to get a cgi script that would display an image in the 4bitterguys picture template, so that way if we wanted to post an image on the site and just put a link to it here, it would bring up a new window with a proper border and shit while showing the image. :)
Sorry, this is a lot of text, and not one link. :-)
You want a beer wall eh?
By Michael - 11:44 AM, Thursday, August 2, 2001 - 0 Comments
Beer walls.
By Tim - 9:16 AM, Thursday, August 2, 2001 - 0 Comments
Why aren't there more of them? I want pictures sent in!
Random text fixed!
By Michael - 8:51 PM, Wednesday, August 1, 2001 - 0 Comments
Now NewsPro is displaying stuff in the right font, the random text is working, and thumbnail images are on the way (thanks Chessa)! 4bitterguys.com has landed!
(Note: Landing may not be included.)
NewsPro up and running!
By Ches - 8:03 PM, Wednesday, August 1, 2001 - 0 Comments
5 hours later and i've put quotes on the page, installed newspro and the pic of the day script and broken the quotes again. Meh.
Website designed
By Michael - 7:50 PM, Wednesday, August 1, 2001 - 0 Comments
So here we go guys, the website is live. Reckon we've got any hits yet? Hah. :-) I guess we should just get used to ranting and raving about all the boring crap we normally talk about, and hopefully someone on the web will find it entertaining, eh? :-)
Website slightly remodelled
By Michael - 7:50 PM, Wednesday, August 1, 2001 - 0 Comments
Well, I've rearranged a few things and added some stuff here and there to make the page look a little bit nicer. What do we think of the big circular arc background? We can quite easily change that to something else if we want.
I was also thinking, it would be really nice to have a random quote or caption appear at the bottom of the page each time you reload it. I'm sure we can probably do that with some CGI stuff.
Jesus christ - apologies to all for the past 24-48 hours of 4BG chaos - we had some horrible cgi errors which have since been TERMINATED (bang bang, I am now a cgi expert :)...) and oh yes, NEWS COMMENTS are here for all to contribute to! :-) What do YOU think?
Did someone say elephantiasis of the testicles pictures?
