Current Headlines:

June 2003

Fuck eBay sucks. By Tim - 11:41 AM, Monday, June 30, 2003 - 12 Comments

Okay, so I upgrade my digital camera. In the meantime, I try to sell the old one. Put it on eBay (natch). 1st auction: Doesn't sell. Drop price. 2nd auction: Doesn't sell. Drop price. 3rd auction: Sells at what I wanted in the first auction (go figure) Turns out the buyer was actually another seller of the same camera. They create a fake account, block my sale, and then tell the second highest bidder to bid on their auction. Bloody hell. So I relist a final time. Get several emails expressing interest but asking me to drop the price to $100 less than what I'm asking. With 12 hours to go and no bids I drop it by $50. Finally sell it. Thank god. All up, I've lost $350 on this camera. Fuck. Then to top it all off, I catch some wanker using my photos in HIS auction while MINE IS STILL BLOODY GOING. Check them out here: http://cgi.ebay.com.au/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2937822311&category=1085 verus mine here: http://cgi.ebay.com.au/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2936112875&ssPageName=ADME:B:EOAS:AU:3 If only he'd hard linked. Goatse.cx guy would've really attracted the buyers.

I'm excited!!! By Tim - 7:44 PM, Tuesday, June 24, 2003 - 9 Comments

Yes indeedy I am. There I was, just quietly watching TV, yeah some old crap on showtime, maybe I'll chuck on a tape of Micallef or something, but I'll check what's on the music channels first... 43...meh...44...jesus Music Max can be weird...45... holy fuck! Sum 41 live! Awesome! So yeah, cool, one song. Am happy enough with that... oh wait, it's still going? Excellent. Doot de doo... I'm happy now, go to bed in a minute. Wait a minute, what the fuck? They're touring??? YEAH BABY!!! I'd just been saying to my sheila about a week ago "fuck I wish Sum 41 would tour Australia soon". Wish granted. I seriously don't give a shit what people think about Sum 41. In my opinion it's about time there was enthusiastic poppy punk back on the radio. Brings me back to the days of Blink 182 when they came out with M+Ms or Dambuilders with Teenage Loser Anthem. Nothing like reliving your youth again. Bliss. Update: Not 2 minutes later, I've secured my tickets. Huzzah! :D

Exams are over!! By Miles - 6:45 AM, Sunday, June 22, 2003 - 4 Comments

After that rather narky last post, I finally finished my exams last Friday. I don't remember having a weirder exam period - the first two weeks I did absolutely nothing, and then I went into some sort of studying frenzy for the final week. I managed to cram in a whole subject in just two days, which I was pretty impressed about - well, impressed until I find out my mark for it I think. So what was the first thing I did coming out of the exam room? Well, given that Ches' place is literally a five minute walk from the exam room and that my car my parked there, I went to his place and starting sinking piss of course. :) I must have spent about $130 on Friday night - I was buying everyone dinner, beer, whatever, I was just so glad to have exams over. I also managed to get hold of that rather classy stein pictured to the right there - it came free with a six pack of DAB, and can fit 3 and a half VB stubbies in it at once. Awwww yeah. 8 hours after the drinking began I finally went to bed, and had the classic "exam comedown" sleep. It was quite possibly the worst sleep of my life. Imagine for me if you will, trying to sleep with the following going on: You're sleeping in a friend's lounge room, on their cold, hard floor with a matress approximately a quarter of a centimetre thick The whole room is covered in windows and there are like three street lights outside, so you've got constant light coming in The equations and summaries you learnt for the last two exams are on constant loop through your head the whole night If that's not enough, you've also got exactly two sentences out of Avril Lavigne's "Complicated" stuck looping through your head the entire night too You really need to pee, but you're too tired/drunk to get up to do it You're also really, really dehydrated, but you're too tired to get up to get something to drink And finally, to top things off, you've got a headache going off like a jackhammer in your skull And there you have it folks - a recipe for the worst sleep ever. Thankfully though, I was in such a good mood from finishing exams that it didn't actually bother me that much. Had an absolutely fantastic sleep last night though - nothing better than the sleep AFTER a really big night out and a crap sleep the night before. And finally, my poor old cat's sick again. The rat bastard keeps getting into fights he just can't win, and so he comes home with these disgusting pussy wounds on his head that smell like food gone off. I'm off to the vet in a couple of hours, I was meant to go yesterday but the bastard ran off an hour before it was time to go. So it looks like it's back to the bucket for Kay. Anyway, I'm off to enjoy my five weeks of holiday. Oh yeah. 5 weeks. 5 weeks, no Uni, no assignments, no crappy exams, just five weeks of sitting on my arse. I'm getting tingles down my spine just thinking about it. I love being lazy. Prost!

Urinals By Adam - 10:44 AM, Friday, June 20, 2003 - 8 Comments

Yesterday I saw a bloke do his business at a urinal, then dry his hands, then leave. That's right, after using the urinal, he dried his hands without washing them. What does this mean?

Egg crisis hits Australia By Michael - 7:27 PM, Tuesday, June 17, 2003 - 14 Comments

Breaking news has rocked us at the core of our foundation: Australia is having an egg crisis! Rural and city dwellers alike have been asked by the government to sparingly consume all egg rolls, salads, crepes, quiches and omelettes. But we at 4BG have been informed from inside sources that the crisis is actually not as bad as it seems, and is part of a government conspiracy to reduce the protein intake of its citizens in an attempt to weaken their bodies and spirits. (Our source claims the apparent lack of eggs is all done with yolk and mirrors.*) But I stand proud against this conspiracy. The water "crisis" didn't shake me into sharing showers with my flat mates, but instead inspired me to shower three times a day, to full flush after a small tinkle, and to set up a web cam in the bathroom to watch my other flat mates shower, lest I miss out on any hot water action. Similarly, in this seemingly egg free era, I shall be eating large quantities of french toast for breakfast, boiled eggs for lunch and souflée for dinner. I'll be damned if I'm not feasting on the splendours of chickens' ovaries at every opportunity I get! Suck it up, filthy government! * The editor would like to formally apologise for this yolk.** ** The publisher would like to formally apologise for two yolk jokes within a single news item about eggs.

Ten best things about inner-city living By Adam - 9:16 AM, Friday, June 13, 2003 - 14 Comments

Doing something on Saturday nights doesn't require driving 50 minutes there and 50 minutes back Trams are within walking distance Decent pubs are within walking distance Friends are less than 500km away Contents insurance is cheaper -- yes, cheaper No giant dog next door barking all the time [so far] Cab fares are five million times cheaper Going shopping no longer means standing in a line of 45-year-old bogans with 2.3 bogan kids and being served by a sour 16-year-old bogan wearing a badge that says "HELLO MY NAME IS TYPHANNIYE HAVE A NICE DAY" with Mariah Carey earrings and an "I LUV S-CLUB" badge You get a fireplace in your living room [sure it doesn't work, but it looks cool] When people ask where you live, you don't have to say "near Dandenong" anymore Stay tuned for my imminent "Ten worst things about inner-city living" sometime in the next two weeks. :)

When will it be over? By Miles - 2:04 PM, Wednesday, June 11, 2003 - 14 Comments

At the moment I'm in my ninth exam period for Uni. Ninth. I've got my first exam tomorrow, and I've reached that point where you just can't do any more - your brain's full. Man, I'd hate to have two exams one after another - you'd only be able to learn half as much for each one. At least with a few days between each you can empty out that crap you'll never use again and cram some more crap right back in there. Did I mention I'm completely fatigued and jaded with the whole process? Because I am. I spent probably 30+ hours on my last Cinema Studies essay, and got 65% for it. I was meticulous with it - made sure every reference was correct and up to date, that I followed their guidelines on layout and referencing to a tee - yet I got feedback that I'd done it wrong. Well I think I should get a free 10% for the subject given that many of their references are incorrect and presented in the wrong way. Needless to say, I didn't give as much of a shit this time. Actually, it's astounding how much they expect of us while fucking things up constantly themselves. For example, for our databases project we had to design and test a database. On the last day, everyone was finishing off the comments on their code, and went to submit it - oh and gee, the system went down because of an overload. I can count on one hand the number of CS assignments I've had where the submission system DIDN'T break down at the last minute, causing all sorts of panic in the students. You'd think they would have learnt by now - but then again, it did take them 4 years to figure out that when you open the tutorial sign up system to everyone at the same time each year it completely fucks the system and no one can get in. This year was the first year EVER that I logged in when it opened and was able to secure a place without waiting 10 minutes for the system to respond, or it giving garbage answers. Oh, and then there's when we got our databases marks back - they'd actually fucked up the addition of the marks and said we all got 5 marks lower than we did. They used the same programming language we did for our assignment - and lo and behind, even they can't use it. Really inspires you as a student doesn't it? Anyway, just needed to rant really. My brain's all fuzzy from all the studying that's been going on, and I haven't even had a single test yet - though after tomorrow, half of my subjects are over, and by next Friday I'll be hooking myself up to a beer drip. This post wouldn't be complete without a photo of Ches, so here you go.

You can't be too careful these days... By Michael - 8:18 AM, Tuesday, June 10, 2003 - 6 Comments

You know what's really weird? The fact that (when I actually get my arse into gear) and write these little updates for 4BG, I generally don't think much about who's going to be reading them. Mostly I've come to expect close friends, "hip" people from around the world who've stumbled across the site at one stage or another, and let's not forget the trusty 62 year-old old masturbating man in his basement. But no matter how many times it's happened, it still freaks me out when someone I know reads the site that I wasn't expecting to. I got an email from my sister (who's currently in New Zealand having the time of her life working and partying) saying she'd been reading the site, and it was "very funny". Now, while she directly gave me a compliment, I couldn't help but wonder if there was something she saw on here I didn't want her to see. It's not that I'm keeping secrets from anyone - it's more just the embarrassment factor. I'd hate for an ex-girlfriend to discover her chronic case of weeping genital herpes came from me, or worse yet for Miles to discover that the urine stains appearing all over our house over the past two months weren't from his cat. I guess all I'm trying to say is that you really have to be careful about what you say on the internet. There's a lot of freaks out there who'd use the knowledge that I've had a permanent erection since I was 13 against me. And I definitely don't want my affinity for animals affecting my career.

Fridge magnets and other banter By Michael - 2:55 PM, Monday, June 2, 2003 - 7 Comments

I saw a fridge magnet today for a local Dentist. It said "Smile! It's check up time!" Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but that doesn't seem like a very good slogan. It's kind of like saying "Have a box of chocolates! Your family is dead!" Speaking of families, I'm back living with my parents for a few days as I'm without a car and need a lift to work and back every day. I feel like I'm 17 again. So far, I've managed to introduce my parents to Fusion Frenzy, and have made the horrific realisation at just how scary it is to drive with your parents after you've obtained your license. I'll be sure to keep you all up to date with the lives of my parents. Ciao for now. Viva Michael.

More News...

An infinite number of mediocrities do not add up to one genius.