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June 2002
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Where is MickeyD?
By Miles - 10:26 PM, Friday, June 28, 2002 - 0 Comments |
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We don't know....... do you? |
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Blah blah blah, Michael, blah blah blah
By Michael - 6:24 PM, Thursday, June 27, 2002 - 0 Comments
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 Yesterday, at work, I did the coolest thing! We needed some sound effects of people screaming, yawning and grunting for a new Gameboy Advance FPS game in development, and so of course I voulenteered. Now I'm going to be the sound of Yawning Guard #14. I've hit the big-time, baby. Look out Hollywood, here I come.
In more serious news, it has come to my attention that a potentially lethal substance -- dihydrogen monoxide -- can be found in many common household cleaning products, and even some food sterilising solutions. Support the banning of this dangerous substance and find out more at this website.
And now to the weather. Stacy of iamafish.org has a secret admirer! Find out more in the latest Ask 4BG. And while you're there, ask us a goddamn question and we'll give you a goddamn answer you goddamn lazy bastards. And maybe I'll include a picture. Not sure though. Depends if I'm drunk. |
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Exams are over!!!
By Miles - 11:56 AM, Wednesday, June 26, 2002 - 0 Comments
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 Finished my last exam this morning. I swear, there's no better way to start the day than getting up in the dark, while it's -4 degrees in your room, and running around in a panic trying to get out the door before peak hour hits so you can make your exam in time. Then you can spend half an hour in the car park sitting there trying to revise your notes but just feeling like you're going to throw up because you're so stressed. And then going into the exam, finding it has NOTHING TO DO with what was on the previous 3 years' exams, and you have no bloody clue how to do half the questions -- not that it matters anyway, because there wouldn't be enough time to do more than half anyway. Mmmmm. Stresslicious.
 So tonight's going to be a night to kick back, relax, and get drunk enough to forget I did so badly. Perhaps Johnny Vegas can help us out there. Nah, we're kicking it "old-school" tonight - we're watching what to DVD LPs are to CD - Strange Days on Laser-disc. Awwwwwww yeah. |
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Shouldn't I be working?
By Michael - 6:25 AM, Monday, June 24, 2002 - 1 Comment
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 This morning as I was driving to work, I noticed a girl in front of me had 3 of those nodding dogs in the back of her car. So of course, since my car is stereoless at the moment, I immediately think of that song, there's something about the rhythm, you know, the video clip with all the nodding dogs, but instead of dog's heads they have people's heads, where the dog's heads used to be? Yeahhhh. Well, anyway, it just WON'T GET OUT OF MY HEAD.
So as I'm driving to work bobbing my head up and down like the guy in the video clip, I'm thinking "You know, I don't think I can think of a single job I'd like to be doing more than what I'm doing right now." And then, at some traffic lights, I had an epiphany. (I also farted, but I'll tell you more about the epiphany.) I realised the best job in the world for me would be a rocket scientist, because then if someone asked me a really tricky question that I didn't know the answer to, I could say "What am I!? A rocket scientist?" and everyone would laugh and laugh. On top of that, being a rocket scientist might be useful to help the world. Also it would be a really great ice breaker at parties:
Stranger: "So, what do you do for a living?"
Me: "Oh, me? I'm a rocket scientist."
Stranger: "Really??"
Me: "Uh-huh!"
Stranger: "Wow."
Me: "Yessirree."
Stranger: "So... you... uhh... build rockets then?"
Me: "That's right!"
Stranger: "Wow."
Me: "Rockets!" |
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Anime
By Tim - 10:28 PM, Sunday, June 23, 2002 - 0 Comments
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News For People With No Lives (Proudly Presented By People With *Less* Than No Lives)
By Michael - 7:33 PM, Saturday, June 22, 2002 - 0 Comments
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 Hopefully today's post will be a little more interesting than the continual spurt of alcohol-induced slobber you're used to reading on crappy e/n websites that make the mistake you care about the lives of the creators. So I'm told. :)
Even though the Ask 4BG front has been a bit quiet lately, I assure you we're still taking questions (on any topic), and answering them with a rich creamy blend of wit, bitterness and sarcasm. Much creamier than all the cheap Ask 4BG fakes.
Here's a Dress Up Jesus game for the whole family! But if you don't have a family and live alone, you might want to click here. And here's the female equivalent. I quote:
This site focuses on both of the important female sex organs: The Clitoris and the Mind. Apparently it's now possible to give chicks orgasms... with MIND BULLETS!!! Why not practice shooting those mind bullets with Sim Girl.
 It's the second last paragraph of my Saturday night Michael-has-no-life news update, and you know what that means, time for some celebrity bashing! For entree, enjoy celebrities that look like pigs. For the main course, we take great pleasure in presenting stretchy celebrities (dedicated to Amy)! For dessert, why not build a celebrity from spare parts?
Since it's always important to end on a high note, I'd just like to announce that Asteroids has been downloaded over 12,000 times in the past month! That's over 400 downloads per day! S3xX0r s3Xx0Rz!
LATE ADDITION: I just found a pearler of a website - not for viewing at work or around children: VaginArts. And don't blame me, I just work here :) |
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Miles is drunk
By Michael - 9:44 PM, Friday, June 21, 2002 - 0 Comments
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This is reporter Michael Davies reporting from Miles' house. We are drunk. Repeat. We are drunk. We are reporting from Miles' house, *drunk*.
I thought I'd tell you a bit about what happened today at work. I hate my job, it's terrible: I got paid all day today to do a work out at the local gym (all expenses paid for), spa, and see Spiderman the movie, all on company time. And that *included* snacks such as salt + vingar chips, chuppa chups and freddo frogs. Being a game developer is *really* hard work. It's tough at the top, I tells ya.
Love from your friendly neighbourhood spiderman, Micky D. Fin. I'll be fine by tomorrow. No really, have a link before I go. |
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The Perils of Full Time Work
By Michael - 8:05 PM, Tuesday, June 18, 2002 - 0 Comments
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I have concluded in the first month of my full-time employment at Torus Games that working full-time in such a routine has certain interesting side effects on your life. I was sitting at work today, overhearing two colleagues discussing Britney Spears' decision to make a new movie. I already knew this. I had no idea how I knew, but I knew. I puzzled over it for the rest of the day until I discovered the covert news source: My alarm radio. Every morning, I wake up at the same time, on the same station, with the same announcers, with the kind of shitty news that gets forwarded around offices as spam email that everyone seems to think is so hillarious. I refer you to Exhibits A and B:
 To put it bluntly (no pun intended), I want to stab the radio announcers that persistently infect my morning 'accepting-the-fact-that-I-have-to-get-up' time with their daily novelty drivel of 'funny happenings' around the world. THAT'S MICHAEL'S TIME! FUCK OFF! Now, I know, I know, I could just wake up to the buzz of an alarm clock, but to me, that's a lot like being woken up by someone's mobile phone going off and them not being there to answer it. I think I'd rather inject human poo into my eyeball. Can't they just play a god damn song, since I can't afford (translation: am too lazy) to get a CD player with an alarm function? And, while we're on a role, how about we get them to play a fucking half-decent song? Why do I always wake up to some Top 40 teeny grunge shit that makes me want to die? Why does god hate me?
And WHILE I'M ON THE TOPIC of alarm clocks, I have a bone to pick with my alarm clock (or, in another way of looking at it, myself). I got stung by the old AM/PM switcheroo, but not the 'I wanted to wake up at 9am and my alarm went off at 9pm that night after I missed my meeting! Great!' switcheroo, this was the horrible kind, the kind that interrupts sleep, it was the 'I had a doctors appointment at 6:15pm and my alarm went off at 6:15am and woke me up!' one. Terrible day. Terrible.
I have to go be in my happy place now. |
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The Camgirl Strikes Back!
By Michael - 1:14 PM, Sunday, June 16, 2002 - 0 Comments
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 Toki emailed me recently, and surprisingly she didn't care about the stuff I said about her. Go figure.
On that note, I thought it would be fair to give the camgirl community/underworld/mafia a chance to have their say, therefore I am proud to present for your intellectual and visual pleasure: Interview With The Camgirl! We talked to Sammie the Aussie camgirl about her crazy life as a camgirl, how to deal with old American perverts who like to smell their cousin's farts, and how to discreetly handle naked images of you strewn across the internet.
And one last thing before I go. What the _hell_ is with this chick cutting off this guy's arse? The article says he "regained consciousness" sometime later to find his arse missing. How do you sleep through your girlfriend hacking your arse to pieces? Apparently the guy was left for dead on a highway (with his car I believe) and managed to drive to the nearest house, 9km away.
(Knock knock)
"Yes?"
"Umm hi, my girlfriend just cut my arse off."
"Oh my god! Come in! Sit down you poor thing!"
"Would if I could."
*Woot-tooooosch* And why did she go for his arse? Okay, fine, you're pissed off at your boyfriend. You're going to cut him with a knife. What springs to mind? The penis? Hmm, too unoriginal. The face? Nah, too much bone in the way. Hands? Arms? No. She chooses the ARSE. I don't get it. |
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Drunk
By Tim - 6:28 PM, Saturday, June 15, 2002 - 0 Comments
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That is all. |
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10 - 4 big buddy!
By Ches - 11:40 AM, Friday, June 14, 2002 - 0 Comments
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 Dick togs are ace!
In other news The Loudspeaker Kit have released their new line of speakers! If you're after cheap, DIY speakers that offer exceptional sound, give these guys a try.
Also, i was just given a 22 year old Nakamichi 480 dual capstan 2 head cassette deck.
Wow! It's a pity it doesn't work.
This newspost brought to you by the letter "Miles keeps hassling me to post" and the number "Go get fucked!". |
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What the...?
By Tim - 11:28 AM, Friday, June 14, 2002 - 0 Comments
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 What's with the bloody thumbs up craze? Jebus.
Anyway, can I also ask why people are searching for terms like drunk, naked, guys, pictures and then clicking on **this** site. Very worrying.
I suppose that'd better than this or this. |
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Yeah baby!! w00t w00t w00t!
By Miles - 9:07 PM, Thursday, June 13, 2002 - 0 Comments
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 Well, that's two down and one to go. Today I finished my last 4th year exam for this Semester (courtesy of Herr Harwood again). It sure was a bastard of an exam (since when did probability theory come under the heading "Networks and Communications"? Buh?) But I did reasonably well, pretty damn good considering how little I paid attention during Semester. A couple of tricky questions in there, but it could have been worse. So yeah, only Probability to go in two weeks odd.. Lord knows university level maths isn't my strong point, but with two weeks to "study", what can go wrong? Right???
Anyway, in the meantime absolutely nothing seems to be going on atm. Michael is busy with his job, so we don't see much of his good self anymore. Actually Ches seems pretty occupied with his excuse for a job, and it's been a while since we've done something crazy. Well, it's been at least 2 weeks since Michael's been "wrestle-with-Ches-at-2am drunk" anyway.
But yeah, apparently some dudes were coming over east to do a bunch of interviews with web people (i.e. get pissed with them and write about it) but we're yet to hear anything from them. They were actually meant to have finished by now but they haven't updated their website. Hope they're not dead... huh, guys? :)
Obviously I'm just bored and this post is going nowhere. I don't have the funny like Michael does, but I might as well end this post with a few pictures of us as South Park characters. I don't know why I've got a cigarette in my mouth btw - I think Suse thought it would be funny. From left to right: Michael, me, my roommate Suse and finally Ches and his girlfriend Sally.
    
Remember everyone!! Keep smiling!!! |
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Forums rock!
By Michael - 6:08 PM, Tuesday, June 11, 2002 - 0 Comments
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Parking Fines, Parkinson's Disease, and Abandoned Parking Lots
By Michael - 10:41 AM, Monday, June 10, 2002 - 0 Comments
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You'll be pleased to know (or won't give a shit at all) that I got off my parking fine. Fed them the worst excuse known to mankind. Here's a brief sampler from my letter of protest: The ticket machine I tried to use did not appear to be out of order however something (another coin from a previous ticket purchaser perhaps?) was jammed in the coin slot. After five minutes of trying to insert different sized coins in the machine I gave up, hoping the council was aware of the problem.
If you think I'm a smooth talker, read this: Apparently Michael J. Fox wrote a book, entitled "Lucky Man," and it was all over every bookstore in the mall and every bookstore outside the mall. I really don't know if "Lucky Man" is a good name for the book considering that Michael has Parkinson's disease. I would rather opt to name the book... "What's Shaking?" It seems like a more solid title for a book by a man in Michael's situation.
Get it while it's hot at www.jasonrivera.com.  Moving right along, I've been meaning to post a link to the Cave Clan for ages but never got around to it. Here's a bunch of people who explore hidden infrastructures: drains, cavities, abandoned warehouses, etc. Currently the Melbourne site doesn't have any images (they used to, maybe took them down for legal reasons?) so be sure to check out the Sydney Cave Clan for pretty pictures. Taking things even further is Infiltration, a really cool site with photos and stories of people exploring "off limits" areas around cities across the world.
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We're BACK!
By Michael - 1:13 PM, Sunday, June 9, 2002 - 0 Comments
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 Look out you bunch of sick wacko geeky freaks with too much spare time on your hands! 4 Bitter Guys are back online and kickin' it badcore style 24/7, servin' the worst of the web and our minds up for your viewing pleasure.
Unfortunately our servers died about 4 days ago and we lost all our content. Needless to say, the past 2 days have been a salvage-a-thon like no other, scraping together bits of 4BG from internet caches, local copies, and writing small C programs to convert SHTML files to NewsPro database files. Messy.
 Anyway, you don't really care. All you need to know is that everything is back online sans a few images here and there, and approximately 2 weeks of news posts from late February 2002, which have reached their final resting place at the bottom of the internet ocean, never to see the light of day again.
Oh, and some things were unrecoverable, such as the 4BG Forums and the ability to search 4BG, but apart from that we're all set to go. The forums should be fixed in the next week or so.
So in the mean time, stay well, stay fit, stay black, and stay away from the edge. This is one exhausted Michael signing off. |
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The Page of Horror
By Michael - 7:18 PM, Monday, June 3, 2002 - 0 Comments
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In true e/n website style, 4 Bitter Guys has resorted to horror, violence and gore to get hits to our site. If you have the stomach for it, take a look at The Page of Horror. Be warned though - even the seasoned rotten.com viewer may have trouble stomaching some of these pictures. |
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I used to be cute!
By Michael - 4:50 PM, Sunday, June 2, 2002 - 0 Comments
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More News...
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I don't know what inspired me to do this: It's the 
