| |
May 2003
 |
Bumurgulars? BUMURGULARS!!
By Adam - 9:29 PM, Friday, May 30, 2003 - 17 Comments |
Tonight on the way home I bought MDK2 for PlayStation2, went home to play it, and discovered a gaping hole where the PlayStation2 should have been. Fortunately I was in luck, because we were blessed with several gaping holes, each replacing the GameCube, several controllers, loads of cables, memory cards, the DVD player, some DVDs, some games, and some of my partner's jewellery.
Santa came early! And he left an abundance of gaping holes!! Bless 'im. No, you can't have any. These gaping holes are mine.
|
 |
Photos
By Tim - 12:48 PM, Wednesday, May 28, 2003 - 30 Comments
|
As promised.
  
  
  
  
Damo, Ches, Michael, Bec, Miles; Me; Damo, Miles, Michael
Miles and Karsten; Michael; Karsten, Ches, Miles
Michael; Miles and Me; Miles (try and find him)
Damo, Suse; Michael, Bec, Miles; Miles, my sheila, me
Updated: Some more. |
|
Bloody nerds
By Tim - 8:23 PM, Tuesday, May 27, 2003 - 2 Comments
|
 Jebus. Look at all our subjects. What the hell is with "Spoof Pube Testicle Chinese Sausage"? Lame. What about the last two news posts? Both concern nerdy nerdy gaming. Pah!
If you're going to talk about games, at least talk about Dear Or Alive Extreme Beach Volleyball. I'm banking on this game getting my sheila to have at least a near lesbian experience. One that I can enjoy preferably.
So I thought I'd at least congratulate myself and the other three bitter guys (and ex bitter guys) on their efforts on the weekend. Barring Adam, we all managed to get extremely drunk three nights in a row. Shame about Michael and Miles' bloody lame attempts to pick up on Saturday night instead of heaping their attention upon me. Fuckers.
Anyway twas good fun. I was going to write a long rambly anecdote with pictures, but sadly the highlights were Miles urinating at a busy intersection, Ches losing his 3G phone, Adam getting owned by everyone and Michael failing to make Ches or I giggle till we farted, although he came close. Maybe I'll put up pictures later. |
 |
Ice Nine features at E3
By Michael - 4:07 PM, Monday, May 19, 2003 - 8 Comments
|
 Most of you already know by now that I'm a game developer working for Torus Games. Our current project is Ice Nine for Playstation 2, a stealth based first-person shooter. This year at E3 we finally got to give a sneak peek of what's to come. Gamespot have a whole bunch of new screenies, as well as a couple of movies. Enjoy all the goodness here. |
 |
One for the Metroid fans
By Gamma - 5:08 PM, Friday, May 16, 2003 - 13 Comments
|
 After many a sleepless night, I've finally gotten my latest track in a suitable state to be listened to. Not counting the likely-to-never-be-completed Soul Blade remix I've been fiddling with for two years and a failed Kim Wilde horror story, 'Arctic Drift' is the first proper remix I've attempted. It was created with Reason 2.0 and Cool Edit Pro 2.0 over a period of roughly 6 weeks, runs for 4:16, and is a tad under 6Mb. I've got another two Metroid Prime remixes planned and am looking to mix them all into one big fanboy anthem, so the ending you hear here probably isn't what's going to end up in the final mix.
Anyway, enough chit-chat. You can download Arctic Drift here. Turn it up and tell me what you think.
I'd also like to say thanks to the 4BG team for making me a news posterer. I figure a bit of music on here wouldn't hurt, so I'll try to contribute wherever I can. |
|
Spoof Pube Testicle Chinese Sausage
By Adam - 6:22 PM, Tuesday, May 13, 2003 - 6 Comments
|
 So I got this Zelda game, right, and you sail around on a talking boat and stuff, and when you go to the menu, or pick up a potion, or do just about anything, it does this little jingle kinda noise. Diddle-diddle-doo. So it's a long game, right, so you get this diddle-diddle-doo noise a lot. Like, every few seconds. Somehow my brain associated this diddle-diddle-doo noise with the saxophone intro to 'Harden My Heart' by Quarterflash. Yep, the crap '80s song. So every time I play this Zelda game I get the fricking Quarterflash song in my head. 'Gonna harden my hea-a-a-art...' etc etc.
I've been flat out on assignments since I got this game, but whether I'm doing that, or playing the game, or eating, or sleeping, or boofing myself in the head with a big steel mallet, I've got that bloody song in my head constantly. 'Gonna swallow my tea-a-a-ars...' Then tonight I'm sitting in a uni tute and trying to concentrate harden my hea-a-art but every time my mind loses focus for just a second gonna turn and leave you-u-u-u he-e-e-ere it always drifts back to the same fucking words for you are li-i-ies... AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!
|
|
I knew I shouldn't have bagged the TAC...
By Michael - 12:21 PM, Monday, May 12, 2003 - 5 Comments
|
Last weekend I took a defensive driving course. Of course, having done my research I knew that what they really meant by "defensive" driving course was actually "aggressive" driving course, and on arrival at the Sandown Race Course bright and early on a Saturday morning, I wasn't disappointed. Before me lay the most prized collection of probationer Commodores in all of Australia, with what I'm certain was the best collection of hardcore club tunes. I wondered for a moment if Vince lost his concentration the night before and strayed from Chapel Street, the long line of Holdens behind him following blindly, "The Launch" blaring in sync from their 13" subwoofers. Suffice to say we were all bitterly disappointed when we were explicity directed not to use our handbrakes when skidding, and not to go above 60 on the track.
The day concluded with everybody feeling much safer about their driving, knowing practical tips and tricks to avoid potentially stupid accidents which could easily be prevented in the first place. I spent the next few days revising and thinking about all those valuable lessons learned. After much deliberation, I decided the best way to exercise my knowledge of accident prevention would be to slam into the back of a taxi at an intersection. The way I figured, $220 for a defensive driving course wasn't really enough to learn from. An extra $800 insurance claim ought to fix that up, and when the driver of the taxi I'd just hit barely speak a word of English, everything just seemed like it was going to be all okay.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to skin a horse's head and leave it on the front door of the bastard taxi driver whom I shall be referring to from herein as "the cunt".
(In less interesting news, those of you with a keen eye may have spotted the new article, 20 Fun Things To Do When You're Bored At The Office. Enjoy. Unless you're "the cunt". Then you can die, pig fucker.) |
 |
Where's Wally... err... Michael and Miles?
By Miles - 5:19 PM, Friday, May 9, 2003 - 11 Comments
|
|
Tockley Smoo Quim Funbags
By Adam - 12:30 PM, Monday, May 5, 2003 - 8 Comments
|
Last week I saw a sign outside a pub that read:
DRINK PRICES
REDUCED DURING
HAPPY HOUR
Which is good really, because without cheap drinks it wouldn't be a Happy Hour. Unless this particular pub has a Happy Hour where nothing happens.
Then it started lightly raining, and these geeks near me who had bad haircuts and were wearing smelly parkas that had never been washed, panicked and covered their heads and ran around madly trying to get out of the drizzle. Because, you know, they'd look sooo much worse if their hair got wet. "Oh no!! My painstakingly crafted and eloquently coiffeured bowl cut will lose its shape!! I'll lose favour at the Biennial Glen Waverley Star Trek Convention [star date one-nine-two-seven-two-point-four]!! Yet I daren't look up because the fresh rainwater may weaken the powerful stench of my my carefully cultivated shit-breath!! Oh, what am I to do?? MUMMY!!!! HEEEELP!!!!"
|
|
Penis Men Shower Sex Cum Jesus
By Miles - 12:47 PM, Friday, May 2, 2003 - 11 Comments
|
 I have a spider who's stalking me. It's been going on for years now, he used to just try and taunt me (and starve himself) by building his webs over my sideview mirrors. A couple of weeks ago though, he seems to have lost it and taken things up a notch, and decided to play "peekaboo" while we're out driving, which is pretty disconcerting at night. He'd race out onto one of the windows, enough to scare the living jesus out of one of the other occupants, then scuttle onto the roof, and from time to time put a few legs down in front of me on the windscreen mirror. It was like he was trying to tell us "Oh yes... I'll find a way in sooner or later". But when we finally got out of the car he was gone.
Anyway, about a week later I'm in my car about to go to a dinner party, and I'm checking where to go in the Refidex (sorry, Melways), when I look up and fuck me the little bastard has put himself DIRECTLY in front of me on the windshield, looking not unlike an alien facehugger. As if he knew I'd seen him, he fucked off again, and hid on top of the roof. Halfway down the street, I look down at the speedo for two seconds, look up and there he is again. Right in the middle of the windshield. I panic, let out a girlish scream, narrowly avoid a "No Right Turn" sign, and put the windscreen wipers into "tropical storm" mode, squishing half his legs. He then still manages to limp off and appears to secrete himself into the door hinge.
Being the incredibly wussy man I am, when I get to the place I have to get out on the other side of the car just in case. Check the car over - no sign. The little bugger's crafty to be sure.
So I finally get back to my car after said dinner party, and there he is - sitting on the top of my car, waiting for me. There weren't any street lights (they haven't got electricity in Ringwood yet), so I didn't see him until the last second, when he seemed to wave his few remaining limbs at me. I took my shoe off and stood there for about 5 minutes just eyeing him off, and him doing the same to me - before I finally got the guts to smash the shit out of him with my sneaker. I'd swear this spider's seen The Usual Suspects or something - by giving himself up, he knew he'd screw me. As I smacked his body into the roof, he launched himself about a metre and a half into the air and scared the living bejeezes out of me. If you were in Ringwood last Friday and heard an eerie, piercing falsetto cry at about 10:30pm, now you know why.
At least it's finally over. Until I find the little sack of eggs he'd hidden in the overhead light in the car. |
More News...
|
|
