Current Headlines:

November 2001

You can't eat a baby! By Michael - 7:35 PM, Thursday, November 29, 2001 - 0 Comments

Are you sick and tired of being stuck in riots, surrounded by people pelting rocks at officers of the law? You need one of these. Works up to 30ft! Fans of the late dude responsible for goatse.cx will also enjoy oralse.cx. When driving, watch out for falling buildings. Stephen Hawking is a wealth of comic potential. Impersonate him, ridicule him, fear him, or clone him.

Bring us your tales of woe and despair By Tim - 8:08 AM, Thursday, November 29, 2001 - 0 Comments

Yes Ask 4 Bitter Guys is taking questions. Can't work out how to woo the girl of your dreams? Having problems with your personal hygiene? We wanna know! E-mail us and we're sure to help you with your problem.

Gran Turismo 3 Review online By Miles - 9:59 AM, Wednesday, November 28, 2001 - 0 Comments

Yes it's late... but I finally finished exams, and what better way to finish than to post my first 4BG article. Read it here.

Temple of Rice By Tim - 10:48 PM, Sunday, November 25, 2001 - 0 Comments

Everyone has seen those cool people with their cool cars with heaps of stickers and 21" wheels. Some of you may have even seen cool computers with perspex windows and neon lights and been mightily jealous. The new way to be trendy however is to have an ultra-cool mobile phone, and we show you how in just five easy steps. You can thank us later.

EXAMS MAKE HOMER... GO CRAZY By Michael - 6:58 PM, Sunday, November 25, 2001 - 0 Comments

In a blatant show of procrastination, I decided to post some linkage. What better way to say "I love you" than sending someone a special gift? Make sure you don't get one of the bad ones though. And if you're not in an animal mood, how about some animal haircuts? Watch me alienate 50% of our readers (Actually, it's probably more like 80:20. The 'net is full of nerdy men aged 20-25 that do things like call shotgun and will probably end up having to purchase a wife). That said, I'm the one feeding their quest for more antisocial behaviour... thanks for your support guys! :-)

Microsoft shocks! ... Zzzzzap! By Michael - 2:39 PM, Thursday, November 22, 2001 - 0 Comments

In the wake of Max OS X Office, Microsoft has stunned the industry by revealing it is releasing Office for Gameboy Advance! Read all about it!

Exclusive Interview! By Michael - 9:05 AM, Thursday, November 22, 2001 - 0 Comments

Forget Halo on XBox - we have an EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW with God, the lead designer of Reality. Read it here. In other bowels of the internet, if you ever wanted to steal someone's girlfriend, here's how. And don't forget to get your hit of weekly midget dwarf sex (Warning: contains nudity). Actually, a funny story about that midget dwarf thing - I did a search on Google for Midget Dwarf, expecting some clean content to come up about midgets and dwarfs, but all I got was about 10,000 porn links, so I settled for that. Ahh... sweet disturbing internet.

End of an era... By Tim - 8:46 PM, Tuesday, November 20, 2001 - 0 Comments

...of study that is! Ahh, 4 years of uni down the tubes. Thank god that's over. To celebrate, here's some linkage... oh, and the stuff on my liquor shelf! A trip to take grieving relatives to the crash site of a downed plane has been cancelled. I wish I'd had this lecturer. My first year results prevented me from getting a decent scholarship. Yay, it looks like Australia won the soccer for a change... Look at this phone and drool. Damn I want it. Might be a few months till it gets released in Australia mind you... But this is what I *will* be getting once Compaq sort out their Bluetooth issues. A dead sexy iPaq. Finally, it looks as if the Taliban might be barking up the wrong tree for their nuclear weapons.

Magic Happens By Michael - 3:46 PM, Wednesday, November 14, 2001 - 0 Comments

Well, as a change from laughing about long penises and nicknames for Osama (if you haven't already, check out his page), check out the new article by Michael, which doesn't contain one reference to Penises or Osama Bin Laden: What The Fuck Is Up With 'Magic Happens™' Bumper Stickers?

Michael's campaign By Tim - 10:59 PM, Sunday, November 11, 2001 - 1 Comment

I think it's working a little *too* well. Here are the list of our most recent hits from search engines: 07 Nov, Wed, 15:06:35 Yahoo: longest penis on net 07 Nov, Wed, 17:00:41 Yahoo: pictures longest penis 07 Nov, Wed, 19:01:53 Yahoo: picture longest penis 07 Nov, Wed, 22:18:54 Yahoo: www.phatmax.net 08 Nov, Thu, 00:17:30 Google: picture of the longest penis 08 Nov, Thu, 01:11:34 Google: longest penis 08 Nov, Thu, 01:43:35 Yahoo: the longest penis photo in the net 08 Nov, Thu, 10:11:19 Yahoo: home penis photos,submitted 08 Nov, Thu, 12:22:49 Yahoo: longest penis 08 Nov, Thu, 17:38:52 Yahoo: longest penis picture 09 Nov, Fri, 10:58:54 Yahoo: longest penis 09 Nov, Fri, 13:52:13 Google: LONGEST PENIS 09 Nov, Fri, 14:53:17 Yahoo: horrendous footage from wtc 10 Nov, Sat, 00:19:41 Yahoo: longest penis on net 10 Nov, Sat, 03:40:38 Yahoo: WTC footage 10 Nov, Sat, 05:38:41 Yahoo: +"longest penis" +picture 10 Nov, Sat, 13:26:12 Yahoo: new wtc footage 11 Nov, Sun, 03:53:15 Yahoo: new funny bin laden photos 11 Nov, Sun, 05:49:32 Yahoo: PHATMAX.NET 11 Nov, Sun, 10:23:32 Yahoo: longest penis picture *sigh*. Michael, jebus, what meta tags have you got hidden on here boyo? BTW: If anyone from the following countries are reading this, TELL YOUR FRIENDS! Obviously not enough of you Slovenians are visiting. .is Iceland 1 0.01% .ar Argentina 1 0.01% .hk Hong Kong 1 0.01% .id Indonesia 1 0.01% .jo Jordan 1 0.01% .ee Estonia 1 0.01% .tt Trinidad and Tobago 1 0.01% .bn Brunei Darussalam 1 0.01% .si Slovenia 1 0.01% (Michael's note: I didn't even know 'Brunei Darussalam' existed.)

4BG Aid By Michael - 3:57 PM, Thursday, November 8, 2001 - 0 Comments

The Save 4BG Appeal has been launched! Suggestions, comments etc. are welcome here.

Come on Tim! By Michael - 5:10 PM, Wednesday, November 7, 2001 - 0 Comments

Jeeez Tim, even our anonymous readers are doing better than you at insulting me!!! :-) You are nothing!!! :) HAHAHAAHAHHAAH!!! :-)

Tim is a poo poo head poo eater By Michael - 9:32 AM, Monday, November 5, 2001 - 0 Comments

In other news, apparently you can now purchase babies online at www.babiesdirect.net. I couldn't find the online order form though. For more pictures of ugly people, try here and here. :-)

Michael By Tim - 4:16 PM, Sunday, November 4, 2001 - 0 Comments

He's a very frustrating boy. Particularly when you're busy finishing your thesis and meanwhile he's there bagging you on your own home page. My time will come Mickey D... oh yes...

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Behind every successful man is an astonished mother-in-law.